Being a Truth Teller is Scary
Truth Talk.
The spotlight scares me. It always has. To simplify, it’s fear-based. It is the fear of being seen, known, and in turn, rejected.
When I had the opportunity to sit down with Lauren Lowrey to do a video interview, I walked into that room having to quiet the fear. I’ve never been on camera . It was new for me. I had no idea what I was doing or what to expect. However, I did it anyways and took one step in the direction of courage and one step away from the fear.
The fear of the what if? What if I am terrible at this? What if I share too much? What if I say something that I believe today that I don’t believe in the years to come? What if my story is dumb? What if the fact that I am still figuring things out comes across as she doesn’t know what she’s talking about?
These were the thoughts, but also know that what is seeped in fear is not truth.
Sharing my story and who I am always feels vulnerable. I have undergone tremendous change since I started this company. I am in the in the process of becoming my true self while teaching others to do the same. I am an incomplete project, and as I search for certainty when sharing my story, I recognize that the only certainty I have is my commitment to truth-seeking. Maybe allowing people to share in my journey of personal and collective change will inspire the same in others? Maybe we can do good and do well if we do it together?
What I share in this interview is an excerpt from my life. It’s not the full story. I share a story of early success that turned into discontent and failure. However, at its core, it is a story about a girl who lost her pure joy to external pressure and validation. It’s about a girl who feels deeply, tries hard, and is hyper vigilant of the things happening around her. That girl needed resiliency tools and an outlet to talk about her struggles with the inner critic ruling her life. That girl needed the tools and space to reconnect with the joy and confidence within. It’s a story about a girl who needed to share and move through the ups and downs of life whether through therapy or trusted people who could hold space for all parts — the good, the bad, and the ugly. Luckily, that little girl found what she needed and probably always had within her.
My story is about learning the importance of listening to my inner knowing and trusting it. It’s about learning that my worth is inherent and not earned through good behavior, people pleasing, or accolades. I’m so grateful for the early lessons and for the awakening that brought me to Truth Collective.
So when the sneaky voice of fear creeps in, and I begin to worry if I said or shared the right thing, I have to remember it is my story and to handle it with care. I spoke what was on my heart that day. I showed up. I shared. What a world it would be if we all gave ourselves and others the permission to do that.
My job is to tell my story in the truest way possible and release it because sharing our story is the most human and real thing we can do. My job is not to worry or control people’s reactions.
I have promised myself in this chapter of my life and in the Truth Collective journey that I will practice courage and authenticity. I will not let fear be my first line of defense to not do or say something, so when opportunities come my way that push me out of my comfort zone and align with my values, I will show up for it.
Thank you, Lauren Lowry of AMPstigator, for seeing something in me and inviting me to be a part of the launch of your new brand. Whether I am truth-telling or truth-seeking, I will continue to share my story.
Click here to see the full video interview.